Everyone would like to have a lasting relationship, a romantic love filled with life-long emotions like Walt Disney movies. However, according to the statistics, there are fewer and fewer people who are ready to work to build this kind of love. Even the most successful couples admit that it is not easy to maintain their love.
We live in the age of disposable and ephemeral relationships because, in truth, romantic relationships are difficult to manage. Without effort, without the involvement and without part of the way to adapt to the other, the future of all relationships is doomed to failure. However, if you are willing to devote effort, you can successfully establish a lasting relationship. Good relationships do not happen at once, but they require effort. If you ask all those who are in such relationships, they will tell you that the effort is worth it.
Here are 8 essential essentials for building a sustainable couple life:
1- Do not try to change your partner
To build a strong relationship, accept the fact that you could only change yourself and that you should not try to change your sweetheart. Accept that there is a possibility that the other can never change. Otherwise, you risk frustrating yourself and getting your lover away from you. At best, you can support him to make positive changes in his life, but you should never try to change him.
2- Do not control your lover
Control is a kind of psychological abuse and it creates toxic relationships. This need for control comes from the ego and often it is a reaction caused by your fears, your insecurity, and your dissatisfaction. Do not try to control your lover.
Do not demand anything from your lover. Ask him kindly for a service, even if it is something you hoped for him. Simply saying “Please” turns a requirement into favor and builds a relationship based on respect and cooperation.
If you are not able to handle compromises with nonviolent communication, put an end to the relationship rather than control to make your relationship work. This will only cause ego conflicts and inevitably, it will lead to the failure of your relationship.
3- Interested in his tastes and opinions
You do not have to agree with your views or have the same interests. You do not have to take part in all of your partner’s hobbies and hobbies, but you should pay attention to it. You must ask questions and show him a minimum of interest and involvement. You will never end learning from your partner, and it’s the same for him/her.
4- Enhance the negative emotions
Although all emotions such as frustration, resentment, and anger are not desirable, they are normal. If your lover gets angry, do not criticize him for being angry, because it will not help him. Negative emotions are not always destructive, they can be a need for the evolution of your lover (s) and a way to express your emotions.
Criticizing emotions can make your partner feel guilty and/or defensive. Instead, try to encourage him to express himself more constructively, without judging the feeling himself. To build a lasting relationship, the common goal should be to create links and manage problems together.
5- Make the effort to have physical contact.
Make a daily effort to create physical contact between you and your partner. At the beginning of a relationship, we naturally express our love and affection with hugs, hugs, and kisses. But after a few years or decades, the signs of affection disappear, especially if you have children. I strongly recommend the audio seminar “Overcoming the routine in the couple in 30 days!”.
6- Listen to him
Listen sincerely to your lover when he/she speaks. Do not say yes, yes, shake your head, but listen carefully to what the other person says. You must listen to it, ask questions and rephrase to show your interest. A lasting relationship requires ongoing communication and maintenance.
7- Thank your sweetheart
Gratitude is a subject we often talk about on this site. The practice of gratitude is good for our happiness individually, but also essential to maintain your life as a couple. Testify to him every day your gratitude even if he only does his fair share. A person who feels appreciated and valued will tend to make more effort.
8- Avoid emotional dependence
It is not easy to control one’s emotions. The border is thin between being in love and being in emotional dependence. Love is based on envy and personal and couple development, while emotional dependence is by definition a matter of need. It is the source of many toxic relationships, jealousy, and possessiveness. It is rooted in the lack of trust in you.
To conclude: understand that the secret of a lasting relationship goes much further than the love you have for each other. Love is rarely the problem in love separations. A lasting love will require efforts in couple and on oneself. You will need communication, tenderness and a common desire to build this relationship.